Saturday, January 22, 2011

Virgin Post

Okay, for reasons I don't at all understand, I have decided to start a blog.  My only comfort is that I sincerely doubt anyone will actually read this.  Which, of course, begs the question, Then why do a blog?  To which I answer, Shut the fuck up.   There-- that's over with!

At the tender age of 58 (ouch!) I am trying to reinvent myself.  This is probably only the 546,372nd time I've tried to do this, but I'm sure this time it will really work.   As part of this experiment (term loosely used [tlu]), I am trying to "come out of my shell".  Given my age, my shell now resembles a pterodactyl egg, but what the hell, what does it matter as long as you're healthy.  Hey!  that's the name of my blog!

And here's the explanation for that:  My all-time favorite one-act play (everyone has a favorite one of those, right??) is "Not Enough Rope" by the uber-incredible Elaine May.  It is the story of a girl who is trying to commit suicide but doesn't have enough rope, so she knocks on the door of the apt. next to her (a new tenant) and asks him for rope.  Hilarity ensues.  But in the course of the action, the girl gives this long, rambling monologue and ends it with, "What does it matter, as long as you're healthy."  Which is funny, because she's trying to kill herself--get it?  *pause for light bulb to go off and ensuing laughter*  Anyway, I think it's funny and it sort of describes how I feel about my life, so I thought it appropriate for a blog title.  Plus, it was available, so there's that.  I feel obligated to now reassure all (or none, as I assume there to be) of you that I am in no way suicidal, I'm coming at this in more of a metaphorical way.  

My life, so far, has had some bumps.  Everyone's life does, I realize that, but some have had more than others.  There are many, many people who have had more bumps than I have.  There are some that have had fewer.  That is actually irrelevant.  I'm going to be writing about my bumps, in the hopes that A.  it might be mildly entertaining; and B. it will save me from going back to a shrink.  I feel obligated to now say that in this context "bumps" refers to "unpleasant circumstances" not breasts.  Although I might write about my breasts, if I feel that it is relevant, but they rarely seem to be anymore, so I doubt that I will.  I probably should have put this disclaimer earlier in the paragraph.  *sigh*

Well, that's probably how most of these blogs are going to go.  Which is why I'm pretty confident no one will actually read them.  I think I may have some self-esteem issues.  I think I'll be addressing that at some point.

If you actually did read this, THANK YOU!!!!  And I would love feedback.  I think.  *sigh*