Thursday, May 7, 2015

I Want to Be Alone (Sometimes)

There are many advantages to being a Semi-Recluse:
1.  You can do what you want, when you want
2.  Your domicile can be a Hoarders candidate, because no one sees it but you
3.  Your jokes are always funny
4.  You never waste time juggling events on your social calendar
5.  Being awkward with yourself is easier than being awkward with actual people
But since I am just in the Semi Stage of Reclusivity (great things take time), when I actually interact with people after a 3-4 day hiatus, it can be tricky. (I do interact with my co-workers on a daily basis, but I don't consider them "actual people".)
For example:
I have to mute my audible stream of consciousness. (I talk all the time at home, it amuses the cats.  I only hope they are recording my constant flow of wisdom for when they publish my biography.)
I have to wear a bra. 
I have to close the bathroom door.
I can't fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.
I have to keep my cursing to a minimum.  (Ha! Ha! JK!! If I quit swearing, people would think there was something fucking wrong with me.)
So far I've been able to make the transition pretty well.  I imagine, though, as old age arrives (approximately 37 minutes), it will be more difficult.  So if you see me walking the streets in my jammies, ranting about that time in college Martin almost got us arrested, just call Rojo and J Clyde to come and get me.  They know the drill.