I'm big into Learning Life Lessons these days; as I've passed Algebra II and I think I'm ready for the Big Stuff. I always thought that by the time I got to this age (135), I would be wizened and wise and know everything. Well, I am glad to say I am only slightly wizened, but sad to say I'm no wiser than I was 134 years ago. And I've been through a fair amount of shit in my life, so you would think I would have garnered at least a nugget or two of wisdom here and there. But it's not a very impressive (or original list). You make the call:
1. The love you make is actually not equal to the love you take. (Sorry, Sir Paul.) At least, not if you're wired the way I am. If you're one of those people who tend to overly empathize with the joys/sorrows of your friends and family, (and oftentimes random puppies/kittens) you will spend an inordinate amount of time loving folks and not necessarilly getting it back, because they don't subscribe to that religion; but since that's how you roll, you'll do it anyway and it's okay. You'll hurt a lot but you'll also feel great a good deal (which makes it worth it) and you can't change it anyway, because of the aformentioned wiring issue. This one will not make sense to a lot of people, but if this is how your blueprints are drawn, you'll get it.
2. If you're one of those people that bad shit happens to, you'll always be one of those people. It doesn't get better. You just have to learn how to deal with it. (So far these aren't very uplifting, are they?)
3. Don't ever assume you know what someone else is thinking, because you know what happens when you assume, except you don't make an ass out of anyone but yourself.
4. At some point in your life, you will make an ass out of yourself. Some of us have just have the art perfected.
5. It's okay to feel scared and sad and alone, but don't make it a constant condition. I kind of think of those as comfort emotions, which is actually pretty pathetic, so forget I said that.
6. Listening to music makes you feel better.
7. So does drinking a beer.
8. So does sex.
9. Doing all three at the same time, may be a little messy, but totally worth it.
10. Tomatoes and peaches tasted better when I was little.
11. Having a wonderful group of friends is the very, very, very, very, very best thing in the whole wide world. I have a wonderful group of friends. *pause while Debbie cries*
So, that's my list. Granted, it comes from The Weird World of Little Debbie (not suitable for small children; may contain loud noises and smoke). It's certainly not what I expected to know by this advanced age, but I guess #12 would be have to be: life never turns out the way you expect it to, so just fuck it and enjoy the ride.