With two notable exceptions, I have never fit in with where I am. I was a ten-month baby, and in my mind, it was because along around 9 1/2 months I realized who I would be living with and was, like, "Whoa, these are not the droids I want." (I was one of the early Indigo Children). Anyroad, I ended up with them and always seemed like a stranger in a strange land. I was definitely a part of the family unit, but I always felt like I was wearing a pair of undies that were too small and kept riding up my butt.
School was the same way. Then I had a brief fling with theatre, but we broke up, because theatre wasn't into long-term commitments. My first job in The Real World was with the FBI and I don't think I have to tell you my comfort level there. (Though the NYC Office was cooler than the Pittsburgh Office. I got to be in NYC for the birth of Disco, it was glorious.)
My first notable exception was during my motherhood/wife-life phase. Until the wife-life tanked, which led to the second notable exception when I got back together with my high school boyfriend, theatre; with the understanding that either of us could pull out whenever we wanted. (TWSS, but it should be noted that theatre broke up with me last year, and we got back together in August.)
ANYROAD, all of the above is just exposition to my point today, which is I don't feel comfortable in the current social environment. I know I am not alone in this, thank Dionysus, but it hit home this morning when I heard a woman in my office say, "I don't understand gun control." Now, I don't know if she meant she doesn't understand how it works (or, actually, doesn't work), or if she doesn't understand why we need it. But either way, I can't wrap my head around it. Surely, she doesn't think it's okay for a mentally unstable human being to walk into a school and shoot people. Doesn't she realize that stricter gun regulations may have prevented that man from obtaining a gun? Why am I asking you? You guys are on my side (I'm guessing)...you know this.
But it's shit like this, and shit like people believing that Trump is an actual human being capable of national leadership, and not Zombie Hitler, that just make me want to crawl into a hole (although a comfy hole, with my cats and beer and Netflix) and never emerge.
I thought we fixed this in 1970, people! You mean I wore a black armband, refused to salute the flag and worshipped John Lennon for NOTHING??
Well, it just proves, once again, that Star Trek was right...resistance is futile. And, if I have to accept the inevitability of assimilation, I supposed I can be comforted by the fact that I"ll get Jeri Ryan-like tits.
But I'd rather people would quit shooting each other.