Tonight is my first rehearsal for My Prolonged Hiatus. No, it's not an original play by Billy Ray Brewton, and Lawdamighty, can you imagine what it would be about if it were?
I have a couple days off before our second week of Angels in America (a phenomenal play, BTW, please see it if you get a chance) and I'm using it as a dry run to get used to having my evenings free. Starting the end of this month, for the first time since January, I will not be rehearsing or in a show. It feels Beyond Weird. I was lucky enough to have seven solid months of doing wonderful theatre (with a week or two off here and there) but all good things. . ., as the final episode of STNG said, and now I sit and wait for auditions.
Ok.Cool. Looking forward to it.
No, I'm not. It's depressing.
I am a Loner by nature. I spent the first five years of my life in front of the TV all day, watching "I Love Lucy" reruns and didn't actually have any interaction with people other than my family till I went to kindergarten. I've never felt comfortable around people. I'm convinced everyone else in the world knows the secret of carrying on conversations and having friends and even (dare I say it??) intimate relationships but I've never been asked to join the club. To compensate for this fear, I tend to talk ad nauseum, eventually saying something stupid and/or inappropriate, causing people to slowly back away from me and form small groups to discuss how weird I am. ( No, I'm not paranoid at all. Why are you looking at me???)
Then, when I was sixteen, I discovered theatre. Besides finally finding something I loved and that I could do reasonably well, I found a group of people who I enjoyed being with and didn't make me feel like I had three heads, or if they did, I felt that they actually liked my three heads, so it was okay. It was like finally coming home. I am friends on Facebook with a couple of those people I knew 532 years ago and, though we don't communicate much, it's comforting to know that they are there and I can reach out to them if I want to. As opposed to my sister, whom I assume I won't see again till one of us dies (I guarantee you her money's on me going first.)
It sounds like I've gotten off point, and I have, but fuck you, the point IS that for the last seven months I have had the honor and privilege of hanging with my theatre peeps almost every night and now I won't. Oh, I know, we'll still go out occasionally and I'll go to their shows, and, believe me, I'm looking forward to all that, but not having to learn lines and blocking and be somewhere every evening is going to be hard to get used to.
DISCLAIMER: This is not a plea for attention. I'm tickled mauve that you're reading my blog. . .I have the best friends in the universe. . .and I'm involved in a vibrant, fun theatre community--I'm very lucky. I just know me and know I tend to revert to Little Debbie the Professional Recluse and I thought I'd give y'all a heads-up before I go all Grey Gardens on your ass. Oh, gotta go. . .this is the episode where Lucy tries to get a job at Ricky's club!