Friday, September 14, 2012

Electrifying Personality

There is something about me that tends to kill appliances and electronic devices.  I have killed three computers in ten years.  Just after I killed my last computer (in March), my microwave died. I can't count the number of vacuum cleaners I've owned that expired on the second or third use.  And for the last two months, my phone has been acting wonky.  I am thinking of contracting myself out to the State Department for espionage work.  They could send me to the Middle East or Mordor or Republican Headquarters, wherever is our current greatest terrorist threat, and just have me live there for six months.  I could bring down a third-world power grid  in less time than it takes a Kardashian to get married and divorced.  You're welcome, America.

Along these lines, sort of, I discovered on Wednesday that my former employer (CPA Firm Which Must Not Be Named) has been paying me for the last month, maybe two, even though I don't work there anymore.  I admit, shamefully, that my first thought on seeing all this extra money in my checking account was, "Yippee!  Now I can buy a new computer, microwave and phone!" (I can live without a vacuum cleaner); but this was quickly followed by, "Yippee!  The FBI will come walk me out of my office in handcuffs for fraud!"  So I dutifully called my old HR rep and reported it.  She said she'll get back with me on how much the actual overpayment is and did I want them to debit the amount out of my account or did I want to write them a check?  I will write them a check, thank you; because, based on recent performance, I'm afraid they'd debit my entire checking account away, and steal my precious kittens, as well.   I am still waiting to hear back from her. 

Perhaps the Federal Government should hire CFWMNBN to do their books.  I'm betting they could get rid of that pesky deficit in a hurry.  And convince China that they owe us money. 

They say what comes around, goes around.  In my case, it just keeps going around and around and around and around. . . . .

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