Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Smell Ya Later

I spent most of my morning looking at perfume on-line.  This is fun because:

1.  I am a Girly Girl
2.  The names and descriptions of a lot of the perfumes are delightful.

Here are some examples of my favorite perfume names:

Cheap & Chic Hippy Fizz
Glow After Dark (main ingredient:  nuclear waste)
Ed Hardy Love & Luck (wasn't he a character on Married With Children?)
Moschino Funny (which I keep reading as Maraschino Cherry)
Halloween Freesia (one of these things is not like the other. . . .)
Poupee (really???  "What are you wearing?"  "Poupee."  "Yuck.")
fcuk (supposedly stands for French Connection UK, but, come on. . . . This may also be the Official Perfume of Dyslexics of America.)
Sex on the Beach (tag line:  "Make yourself happy, then look around."  Presumably to make sure no one saw you making yourself happy.)

Some of my favorite ingredients with unimaginable smells:

Ofbarrigtonia Flower
Bourbon Geranium
Tonka Bean (no relation to the trucks, I hope)
Fig Leaves
Juicy (????)
Pink Pepper
Bamboo Chord
Sand Accord (is that a beige Honda?  Who wants to smell like a beige Honda?)

I have certain rules about what perfume I wear.  First, I will not wear any perfume made by Jessica Simpson, Celine Dion or Paris Hilton, because I have some pride.  Second, the musk/patchouli thing doesn't work.  If I wear something with those ingredients, after a while I start to smell like old socks, not a good aroma for me.  Third, I prefer a new perfume, rather than a classic.  If I wear something that's been around since the 40's or 50's, I feel like I've been stuck in a drawer filled with mothballs, and I constantly hum Tommy Dorsey songs.   Last, I'm a pretty poor/cheap fucker, and I don't want to spend more than $25. 

I haven't decided what to buy yet, I'm enjoying the cyber-hunt too much.  But don't be surprised if the next time you see me I'm reeking of Tonka Beans and Ofbarrigtonia Flowers.

1 comment:

  1. Having been "sensitive" (kinda like allergic) to fragrances for years, I avoid them like the plague, and those who wear them! (Why do Americans wear SOOOO much???) But I have noticed that the expensive ones that our military exchange store carries all smell like ant poison - at least to me. What's up with that? Artificial ingredients? On the other hand, the Japanese fragrances (usually made with "real" ingredients), smell nice to me & don't make me cough. Hmmm. As always, enjoyed your entry! Keep up the good work & Happy Thanksgiving!