Friday, December 13, 2013

All The World's a Comedy Club

Back in the '70's (remember those?  No, you don't, you're too young, fuck you), Lily Tomlin had a television special.  It was great, and my favorite sketch was a birthday party, where all the kids were clowns and Lily's parents hired an accountant as entertainment. (Pause as you attempt to YouTube said sketch.)
Welcome to my world.
I view the entire world as a potential joke. It very rarely fails to disappoint me.  Even when I'm residing in the Pit of Despair (I wouldn't recommend it as a vacation spot, the food sucks), I usually come up with some bizarre take on the situation that makes me laugh.  I was born with this....what, impediment?  gift?  defect?  freakish chromesomal abnormality? but it wasn't till I hit Extreme Adulthood (also not the best vacation destination) that I became proud of it. 
Between the ages of 9 and 14, a bunch of obscure relatives I had never met died.  My parents made my sister and me go to the visitations, despite our strong protestations.  They were Family and it did not matter that I was on more intimate terms with our mailman (not in that way!!) than the deceased, you had to show up at the funeral home. It was the Done Thing.  My parents were Republican. (Which is why I wasn't allowed to go to my mailman's funeral.)
So, my sister and I would find a couple of out-of-the-way chairs and play what we called, "My Aunt Harriet Died Last Week."  (For the record, we did not have an Aunt Harriet.)  One of us would start the conversation by saying, "My Aunt Harriet died last week.", and then we would just improvise a sketch till our parents said it was time to go home.  We didn't know what improvisation or sketch comedy was,  we didn't even think we were being particularly clever (thinking you were clever was Not the Done Thing), we were just trying to kill time in a funeral home.  (Thank you, I'll be here all week.  Try the veal.) 
That's how my brain works.  Luckily, I have managed to find a community of people whose brains also work this way.  We're kind of like a leper colony, only not contagious and better looking.  It's very comforting to know that if you see something that strikes you as funny, you can message/text/actually pick up a phone and call one of your fellow Funnylepers and they will appreciate the humor.  I have tried pointing out the humor in stuff to Civilians but they treat me like I'm Robert the Bruce's father.  (If you haven't seen Braveheart, you won't get that and will thereby prove my point.  Thank you.)
When I was a kid, I was in awe of all comedians and I thought there was some Special Magic Funny Fairy Dust that grew in LA and New York that made them funny.  But, luckily, the joke's on me.
P.S.  I don't think chromesomal is an actual word, but it's fun to say, so I left it in.  Fuck the Done Thing.

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