One of the reasons I am where I am today (I would tell you where that is, but I don't want you stalking me. Again.) is because of the skewed view I have of the world.
Take my job. Please. (Sorry, involuntary reaction.) I realize that it is a Primary Law of Nature that people have to go around suing each other. Wait, I don't actually realize that, I think it's stupid. And here's my crazy, wacked-out theory why: If you (or your company) do something wrong to someone, either accidentally or on purpose, you should admit it, apologize and offer restitution. The key phrase here is "admit it". Taking responsibility for making mistakes appears to have gone the way of the steam locomotive and Teddy Ruxpin. Why admit to doing something wrong and making up for it, when you can spend tons more money and time denying it and not? That's what Jesus did, right? ("That guy was alive when I got here, I swear, I never laid a hand on him!") Totally logical.
But not to me. Granted, I tend to apologize to everything, including inanimate objects. I can't tell you how many chairs I've apologized to for walking into. But, I also try to own up for the actual shit I do that hurts human beings and/or cats. Cause it's the right thing, if not always the easiest thing, to do. And it's what I'd want someone to do to me. Which, correct me if I'm wrong here, is what we're supposed to do. As vivid as my imagination is, it is hard for me to picture a multi-millionaire waking up in the morning and saying, "Holy Moly, I wish someone would sue me today." (That was a trick sentence. The only actual part of that sentence which I cannot picture a multi-millionaire saying is Holy Moly.) I don't live in that world. I function in it, because I have to, but I don't live there.
Bad Steve used to tell me I was naive. *Pause to appreciate the irony here.* He's right, I am. And proud of it. Because as long as I subscribe to the "Do Unto Others and Unicorns Shit Rainbows" philosophy, I can keep on living in my undisclosed location where lawsuits don't exist and the cats say, "No problem" when I apologize. It's lonely here, but the unicorn poo is beautiful.