Thursday, June 30, 2011

Have a house; stay put

I have made many poor choices in my life.  Although the majority of these have involved relationships (I have been Board Certified as Unlovable by the Straight Male Union.  Luckily the Gay Male Union picked up my contract.), but I also made a couple of poor career choices.

The first one was quitting theatre (the first time; the second time is on hold for right now).  I probably never would have been able to make a living at it, but I should have at least tried.  Now I'll never know.  Dummy.

The second poor career choice was Real Estate.  Me going into real estate is like the Pope opening a Love Stuff franchise.  The chances of convincing anyone that either of us know what the hell we're talking about are slim and none, and we all know what happened to slim.  I always considered it a major miracle that I passed the test the first time at all.  But I suspect the Great God of Real Estate was just looking forward to being entertained by my Complete Ineptitude for Real Estate.

I do not have the personality for Real Estate:
You have to like home ownership; I think it's a pain in the ass
You have to be good at math; HAH!
You have to like people; ALSO, HAH!
You have to be tactful and skirt the truth; oh, well, shit. . .
You have to have balls; I have the self-confidence of a slug, hence my first poor career choice
You have to wear suits;  I hate suits

The only reasons I went into real estate were:
I was sick of working in an office.  Which, of course, I do now, so fuck me.
I'm nosy and I like to look at other people's houses.

That last part really was cool.  Every Tuesday we'd drive around and look at the new houses that Agents Who Knew What They Were Doing had listed that week.  Interesting note:  every single house in Mt. Brook looks exactly the same inside.  And smells the same:  white, old and stuffy.  (Good-bye readers from Mt. Brook!)

After a week of waking up crying because I was a Real Estate Agent I decided it wasn't the career for me.  In fact I decided that the term "career" wasn't something I would ever subscribe to.  I prefer "blindly drifting along bumping into mediocre jobs and the wrong guys".  But I don't have to wear a suit!

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