Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Door Reprise

A court reporting firm just came by with fliers (flyers? Help me, Grammar Nazis, you're my only hope) for a free lunch this Friday in Linn Park.  At the bottom of the fl--thingy, is a stub to enter for door prizes. 

I will eat your free lunch, but I will not enter your contest for door prizes.

This is because I can almost guarantee (or your money back) that the door prizes will consist of one or more of the following:

* free weekend for two at the lovely, romantic blahblahblahblah
* free dinner for two at the lovely, romantic blahblahblahblah
* free bunch of stuff for people who own their own home
* free something to do with Alabama or Auburn football

So why bother? 

Here are some examples of door prizes I could really get into:

* free cat pan cleaning for a week
* free month's worth of Draft PBR at Rojo
* free hot (straight) guy telling me I'm sexy for a week
* free role of my choice in any Birmingham theatre production this year, without me having to audition for it

But, alas, these things only exist in Debland, which does not; so I will shut up and eat my free barbecue.  There are worse things.

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