A court reporting firm just came by with fliers (flyers? Help me, Grammar Nazis, you're my only hope) for a free lunch this Friday in Linn Park. At the bottom of the fl--thingy, is a stub to enter for door prizes.
I will eat your free lunch, but I will not enter your contest for door prizes.
This is because I can almost guarantee (or your money back) that the door prizes will consist of one or more of the following:
* free weekend for two at the lovely, romantic blahblahblahblah
* free dinner for two at the lovely, romantic blahblahblahblah
* free bunch of stuff for people who own their own home
* free something to do with Alabama or Auburn football
So why bother?
Here are some examples of door prizes I could really get into:
* free cat pan cleaning for a week
* free month's worth of Draft PBR at Rojo
* free hot (straight) guy telling me I'm sexy for a week
* free role of my choice in any Birmingham theatre production this year, without me having to audition for it
But, alas, these things only exist in Debland, which does not; so I will shut up and eat my free barbecue. There are worse things.