Thursday, October 27, 2011

"I may not be no doctor, but I knows when I'm losing my patience."

That's a quote from one of our more underrated philosophers, Popeye.  I mean, who can argue with "I yam what I yam."?

Anyroad, patience has never been my forte.  When I was a kid, I had absolutely none.  Once, when I was five, I was trying to watch television and everyone kept talking, so I grabbed the TV to move it closer to me and ended up pulling it on top of me.  It did get everyone to shut up but after I was extricated I was sent to my room, so it ended up defeating my purpose. As I sadly padded up the stairs, I was told, "Patience is a virtue."  Yeah, whatever.  Virtue's not my forte, either.

I got better as I aged.  In the area of patience, anyway.  Having kids does that to you.  You want to have them live long enough to start school, so you learn to be patient. But there comes a point when I run out of patience and I just don't care anymore.  (DISCLAIMER:  This doesn't apply to my kids; I still care about them a whole lot.  Cause they rock. The Casbah. Hard.)

But that's kinda where I am with the government.  I have totally run out of patience with the Feds and I just don't care anymore.  Usually when someone else can't get their shit together it doesn't affect me that much, but the government lost their shit a long time ago and, consequently, the entire country is fucked.  I appreciate what all those Occupiers are trying to do, but honestly, they're just pulling TVs on top of themselves and I can tell you that doesn't get the results you think it will.  The government simply doesn't care about us Little People.  They have theirs, fuck us.  Guess they're not into virtues, either.

So y'all (once again) are invited to come live in Debbieland.  Much like in the 24th century, there is no currency here (hey, if it can work for Jean-Luc Picard, it can work for us).  There will be lots of chocolate and beer and theatre, both the straight and musical variety, and really good books and Thai food, and somehow we will all be provided for.  The only rules are that everyone has to be nice to each other and be quiet or leave the room if someone is trying to watch television.  And I'll probably abolish virtues, cause I don't see the point.  Someone come up with a National Anthem (one that people with a normal vocal range can sing, please) and we'll be ready to move in.  First beer's on me.

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