Friday, May 4, 2012

Parenthood (part four, I think)

Remember what a shock it was when you first had kids?  Okay, I probably shouldn't write for you, so I'll just say this for me. I was overwhelmed at first.  I mean, I had been pregnant for nine months and I knew I eventually wouldn't be pregnant anymore and a baby would be here, but I didn't realize how drastically it would change my life.  F  O  R  E  V  E  R.

I had changed careers, had people I love drop dead on me, gotten married, discovered the Beatles:  all these things changed me forever in a small way, but not like having kids did.  I felt like I became a completely different person when I became a mom, like suddenly my life seemed to matter more.

Now, I realize that maybe one of the reasons I felt that way is because of all the low self-esteem baggage I've carried around all my life.  (Although, I am happy to report that instead of lugging around 3 steamer trunks, 2 suitcases and a make-up bag, I'm now just sporting a backpack.)  But there is something about holding new life that you created and staring into those little blue eyes that just does a number on your heart and it never beats the same way again.  

Reading over this, it seems rather simplistic; like next I'll write about how air is nifty to breathe; but next week is Mother's Day, and, coincidentally, my first-born's birthday, so it's been on my mind, and you know I tend to spew forth whatever is on my mind, so there we are. 

Just be grateful I didn't blog during my Macarena Obsession.  And Happy Mother's Day.

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