Thursday, May 12, 2011


When I was a kid, my best friend and I sometimes complained to our mothers that we were bored.  This would always piss them off.  They would come up with a list of various activities to amuse us (many of these involved housecleaning, which I still do not view as an acceptable remedy for boredom), and we would turn them all down, and dream of the day when we would be adults and never be bored again.

Well, I'm ostensibly an adult now (I had a local blacksmith check my teeth to confirm this) and, like many delicious childhood fantasies I had about adulthood, this turns out not to be the case. In fact, I spend a way larger percentage of my life being bored now than when I was little.  I take full responsibility for my boredom, since it is mostly at work, because of the brilliant career choices I made in my youth.

My first cc was to become an actor!  Statistically the lowest-paid profession in the country!  Attagirl!  Reality finally shot down that Fantasy Island and I was so busy chastising myself for being an idiot (I hold a masters degree in Self-Loathing) that instead of Thinking Things Through (not a fan), I took the path of least resistance and went to Secretarial School for a year.

Yes, it was as Mad Men as it sounds.  I took such intellectually stimulating classes as "Filing" (alphabetical AND chronological!), "Typing" (we learned on manual typewriters) and the timeless classic "Gregg Shorthand".  After a full year of this rigorous training, I was able to go out in the world and get a job.  I was disappointed that my thrill level of this was only a fraction of the thrill I used to feel when I got cast in something.  Reality sucks.

Anyroad, I've had about 294 clerical jobs in my life, some a lot of fun, some not so much, but they have all had extended periods of boredom in them.  Part of this may be the nature of the beast, but I actually think a large of it is because I'm not very good at secretariness, because I just don't care.  I have become a Profesesional Apathetic.  "We have to get this tax return out ASAP!!" *yawn*  "This letter needs to be put on letterhead right now!" *rude gesture* 

Every once in a while I make a half-hearted attempt to find a new job, but I don't really care enough about that, either.  I think I may be getting to the point where I actually am embracing my boredom, becoming One with Boredom Kingdom.  "ALL HAIL. . .oh, whatever".

At least when I got bored when I was a kid I knew that it wouldn't last, because cartoons would be on in a half-hour, or Barb's mom would make us warm chocolate pudding with milk on it (an almost orgasmic experience) and life would be back to it's bearable self.

Still waiting for that last part to kick in here in Grown-up Land.

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