A few years ago, the Army had a marketing campaign whose motto was, "Be All You Can Be". I don't know if that's possible. At least not for me.
I certainly can't Be All I Want To Be. I want to be tall, I want to have straight hair, I want to be able to dance and sing really well, I want an acting career, I want a bra that really fits......you get the idea. None of those things are possible in Debbie Reality. Meh. I've reconciled myself to most of them, though I will never stop searching for a bra that really fits and makes the girls look good and is comfortable, and doesn't cost a small fortune. It has to exist, it just *has* to. Some may say that I'm a dreamer. . . . .
This does not mean I don't like who I am--I do. I am a Strange Bird, but thanks to a year in therapy and some awesome drugs, I have come to embrace my Strangeness and think it's kinda cool. I no longer feel guilty or feel that I'm a bad person because when I care, I care too much; that I take my acting and improv work so seriously; or that I gave Bad Steve all my money. It just means I think with my heart more than with my brain; I have an undying passion for my art and I am Unbelievably Naive and truly thought Steve loved me and would pay me back. I was wrong. I backed the wrong horse, which is why you won't find me hanging out at the track. But none of those qualities make me the Subpar Individual I used to believe I was. They just make me...Me. So while I don't know if I can ever Be All I Can Be, I am content with Being All I Am Right Now. Which is a Short, Curlyheaded, Klutzy Receptionist with Saggy Tits. Who is happy with her life.