Monday, July 30, 2012

Know Thyself, Just Not Very Well

I was overwhelmed by the positive response I got on my last blog.  Thank you so much, everybody--you rock my blogworld!

I was going to say "I love being creative," but that seems a silly thing to say.  (Although, you will notice I went ahead and said it anyway.)  It's who I am.  The logic portion of my brain is about the size of a microbe. Then there's a sad, cobwebbed-laced chunk for my libido, and a hefty chunk for my love of beer and the rest is all dedicated to creativity.  So saying "I love being creative" is kind of like saying, "I love the largest portion of my brain.", which seems weird.  You know what, I'm going to make this whole paragraph optional, you don't have to read it if you don't wanna.  Oh, wait. . . .sorry.

Anyroad, the frustrating thing to me about my creativity is I never know when I'm being any good or not.  I mean, I don't think I ever really suck (except in certain improv games, but everyone does that from time to time), but sometimes I'll do a scene, or an improv thingy or write something and I'll get all giddy because I think I really nailed it and nobody else thinks it's that special.  On a scale of 1-10 they judge it a "meh".    And then I'll act or improv or write something I think is okay-but-not-special and people say they love it.   I don't expect to be consistently Really Good, that's unrealistic.  But I wish I had better Spidey Sense about when something I do is better than usual.  Maybe there's some kind of chip I could get implanted in my brain (perhaps in the unused libido section) that would send an alarm when I do something RG like, "Hey fuckface, this is Really Good!"  You science types out there, work on that for me, will you?

Now, on a scale of 1-10 of things that are A Major Problem, this is definitely a "yeah, whatever".  It does not rank up there with my Weird Personal Magnetic Signal that Kills Computers, Appliances and Vacuum Cleaners or  my Inability to Go More Than Two Months Without Falling Down, so I'm okay living with this conundrum.  And, I have faith in science.  Silly Me.

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