Friday, July 20, 2012

What Do You Expect?

While I'm waiting for my Prozac to kick in, I'd like to write to you about Expectations.

Not the Great ones that Chuck wrote about, but Normal Everyday Expectations. 

I don't have any.

And since I seem to be creating too many single sentence paragraphs here, I will elaborate.  There has never been a single, solitary instance in my 131 years on this planet where what I expected to happen exactly happened.  There have been rare occasions where part of my expectations were realized  (I knew no good would come out of that whole Archduke Ferdinand assassination thing), but usually my expectations are fulfilled in one of two ways:

A.   The exact opposite of what I expected; or
2.    Absolutely nothing.

Not that I am always disappointed in my Failed Expectations.  Some A's and 2's have been quite pleasant. 

A Example:  I forgot to take my raincoat to work yesterday and I expected to get soaked.  It didn't rain.
2 Example:  Several  years ago I was exposed to one of those stomach virus thingys and I thought I would get it.  I didn't. 

Wow.  Those are two incredibly lame examples.  I bet you expected more.  See??  That's what I'm writing about!  If you don't have any expectations, then you're not disappointed and, sometimes, (although certainly not in the case of this blog) you are Pleasantly Surprised.  Like  I am now, as my Prozac starts to take effect.  Ahhhh. . . . . .

BTW, on a completely unrelated note, I would someday like to write a novel about a 19th Century Street Hawker called Great Expectorations.  But don't expect anything from it.

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